One foot in front of the other...

I am trying to move forward! I still haven't cried since my run. I am holding up surprisingly well emotionally. However, my thoughts are continuously wondering throughout the entire day from IVF to pregnancy to how unfair this is. One of my friends that is going through the exact same diagnosis and procedures said to me that we are going to write a book together when this is through. I just can't wait for the day that I can put this behind me. I want the chance to do IVF so badly, but I want to feel like I have put in effort for the less costly options. I just don't want to play this game of chance every cycle. Yes, I know that IVF is not guaranteed, but the odds are much better than my regular monthly cycles. And as long as I have plenty of eggs retrieved, subsequent cycles would be relatively inexpensive. I went back to the doctor yesterday and they did an ultra sound to check my follicles and lining for a baseline to start over. I have to schedule a hysteroscopy so they will not let me try injectables this round. The reasoning made sense. IF they were to find something wrong during the uterus exam they would possibly cancel the cycle and injectables would be an expensive waste. So, they started me on 150 mgs of clomid last night. I'm taking it days 3-7 and then I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 14th. I have yet to schedule the hysteroscopy because they do not have any available times next week that I could make it to. There was not much of an option. I keep thinking IVF during Spring Break or Summer.

Spring Break
Potential due date in November
Would still have a potential child this year.

Summer
Potential due date in January, February, March or April, MY choice.
All summer off to rest for the first couple months of a potential pregnancy.

I just keep thinking that if I am going to plan it all out then I should shoot for summer to give myself the target birth that I originally wanted, but that would require me to put it off for several months and that is time that I just don't want to lose! Oh boy.